IF it must be automatic

So let’s say something happens that utterly shuts out getting another car with a stick shift transmission.

What could I have that would not leave me absolutely freaking less than enthusiastic?

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The easy choices are easy, for me at least: second-generation Lexus GS (GS300 or GS400) because Supra in tailored suit, and a Jag. A Jaaaaag.

What else?

Something Australian:

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$9.5k, Caprice PPV, and I can paint my toenails black and drive barefoot, shouting things like “STEP RIGHT UP AND WATCH THE KID LAY A RUBBER ROAD TO FREEDOM” and I could find a woman willing to laugh while I did such things driving with abandon about the wasteland etc. But construction sites would frighten me, obviously.

But this is a nice little car.

Illustration for article titled IF it must be automatic
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Illustration for article titled IF it must be automatic

It does not hurt that the dealership obviously has More Than One.

This black one, below, $12795, is a ‘12, unlike the ‘13 noted above, but it’s black,

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Illustration for article titled IF it must be automatic
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It looks psychotic.

Imagine being offered custody of a rabid doberman that happens to be toilet-trained and it obeys ONLY YOU. It’s that kind of vibe, I think. How could I not say yes?

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